egg_salad
Forum Curious
Offline
Posts: 40
Bareass birdness -- look at me!
Badges: (View All)
|
I've been thinking about the old Mellencamp song, with the line "life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone." My father always connected with it so much. To me though, the thrill of living was almost NEVER there. I had my moments of real LIVING (like on the stage, or dancing), but usually they only happened in my most disordered and risky times in my life - the times when the future seemed bleakest.
Without a job now for some time - and feeling somewhat hopeless at actually finding one where my strengths lie without violating some sort of morals (like looking harder), I feel I may be on the edge of such a time. In some ways, I'm hoping for that - my life has been too comfortable. But, it's stressful; always is.
You know, this really rings true with me, and probably says a lot about the human condition. The Rock Bottom concept, in a way. We're always so focused on the future that we often forget to enjoy the present. So when it seems like you have no future, when things are at their most bleak, you stop worrying about it, let go, and embrace the present. Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Very zen. I don't spontaneously realize I am happy a lot. Maybe most don't. However, after going through some bad patches, if I think about, I am happy almost anytime when I am not sick. So I occasionally force myself to consider if I am happy. And I think -- today, I am not sick. I was able to xxx (like play a game solo or with the family). I am happy, dammit. Seems hard to believe, but it helps.
|
|
|
|
|
Calandale
Mockingbird
Wyrd
Forum Malcontent
Offline
Posts: 983
I mock you
Badges: (View All)
|
However, after going through some bad patches, if I think about, I am happy almost anytime when I am not sick. So I occasionally force myself to consider if I am happy. And I think -- today, I am not sick. I was able to xxx (like play a game solo or with the family). I am happy, dammit. Seems hard to believe, but it helps.
To me, this is mere contentment. Happiness is ecstatic.
|
|
|
|
egg_salad
Forum Curious
Offline
Posts: 40
Bareass birdness -- look at me!
Badges: (View All)
|
However, after going through some bad patches, if I think about, I am happy almost anytime when I am not sick. So I occasionally force myself to consider if I am happy. And I think -- today, I am not sick. I was able to xxx (like play a game solo or with the family). I am happy, dammit. Seems hard to believe, but it helps.
To me, this is mere contentment. Happiness is ecstatic. I am happy with contentment then. You really want to be ecstatic all the time, or even a lot of the time? I think that would suck.
|
|
|
|
Calandale
Mockingbird
Wyrd
Forum Malcontent
Offline
Posts: 983
I mock you
Badges: (View All)
|
You really want to be ecstatic all the time, or even a lot of the time? I think that would suck.
Oh gods no. I just miss it. Almost never am when contented.
|
|
|
|
Robin Hoodlum
Wizard of Ahhs
Forum Curious
Offline
Posts: 82
Makes war just for fun!
Badges: (View All)
|
You really want to be ecstatic all the time, or even a lot of the time? I think that would suck.
Oh gods no. I just miss it. Almost never am when contented. I've discovered that the older I get, the less ecstatic I am, or am able to be. Why is that I wonder?
|
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly"- Colonel David Hackworth
|
|
|
Calandale
Mockingbird
Wyrd
Forum Malcontent
Offline
Posts: 983
I mock you
Badges: (View All)
|
I've discovered that the older I get, the less ecstatic I am, or am able to be. Why is that I wonder?
Less need to entice into propagating the species?
|
|
|
|
billyboy
Forum Curious
Offline
Posts: 71
Wargamer
Badges: (View All)
|
Life is like a box of chocolates. Somebody already took a bite out of every piece.
|
|
|
|
kira1y
|
The older I get the happier I seem to get. I think it comes from just not really giving a damn about things that are out of my control anymore.
|
|
|
|
Robin Hoodlum
Wizard of Ahhs
Forum Curious
Offline
Posts: 82
Makes war just for fun!
Badges: (View All)
|
... just not really giving a damn about things that are out of my control anymore.
I wish I could be like that. *sigh*
|
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly"- Colonel David Hackworth
|
|
|
anarchy
|
The older I get the happier I seem to get. I think it comes from just not really giving a damn about things that are out of my control anymore.
So true. My dad summed that up with the very wise, "Sh*t happens."
|
Meh.
|
|
|
|